9/12
2:56 PM
Sometimes I sit and
wonder about what I have ahead of me. What career, friends, lovers and travels
I will have. Right now, I am a college student in the greatest city in the
world. I have my entire life to look forward to. My professors are intelligent and wise and insanely
helpful. I want to experience their knowledge first hand. Thankfully, my
classes are small and my professors are nice. I believe I made the right
decision by attending this college. I feel at home. I feel happy. Letting
go of all my negative thoughts is something I learned in my new religion class.
I need to stop sweating the small stuff, sometimes even the bigger stuff. I
want to kiss a boy who makes my body tingle in the rain, eat an entire pint of
Ben & Jerry’s for breakfast and swim naked in the ocean. I want to feel the wind in my
hair as I stick my head out of a car window. I want to feel alive and like I have a place in this world.
In my new religion class, we learned about Buddhism. Buddhism is all about non-self. I enjoy the
concept of Buddhism. Although, I cannot commit to one religion, Buddhism
seems to be something I would practice if I didn’t have commitment issues. The
practicing of Buddha is to lead a moral life, to be mindful of and aware of
thoughts and actions, and to develop wisdom and understanding. These are the
three most important ideas in my life as well. I’d like to say my goal is to
accomplish all three before graduating college but to be realistic, that will
never happen. I will try practice these things for the rest of my life.
I truly feel bad for people who cannot experience love. Individuals who cannot open their heart to another. Feeling love is something I
feel every day. I smile every day because I fall in love over and over again
with the world. I fall in love with feelings. Seeing a person smile. Genuinely
smile. Being outside on a beautiful day. Someone laughing. Road trips…good
coffee…good music, live music. New pajamas and poems. The
other day, I saw two people meeting on the subway for the first and I fell in
love with them. A man and a woman who both attended NYU, neither of
them knowing the other did as well. The man saw a textbook in the girls lap and struck up a conversation. Naturally, I eavesdropped and heard everything they said. They talked about a class that they both were taking. It just
made me think about how big the world is. Meeting people and not realizing how much you have in common. My English professor actually just told my class how she met her husband
on the subway. Isn’t that crazy? Just meeting some stranger and automatically
knowing that you want them in your life.
x
Disclaimer: Not my photo, found on tumblr
